The original Planet of the Apes 5-movie set has recently been released in Blu-ray, so that is how I have spent the weekend so far. I have not yet made any statements on the Newtown event. But these two things converged to remind me of something I wrote four and a half years ago:

When I recently read the news about Charleton Heston, I was a little sad. While I strongly disagreed with the ideals he took up in the last couple of decades, I think he was a respectable and decent person. Yes, he allowed himself to become a tool of Wayne LaPierre’s imbecile empire. Yes, he joined the ranks of militant Jesus freaks that so thoroughly beat down the forces of reason over the past couple of decades. Yes, he exemplified the angry rich white man I have recently described. Nevertheless, I thought he was a very interesting character.

He had many interesting characteristics. Like Ronald Reagan, he was a former liberal transformed into a conservative by a changing society. Unlike Reagan, however, I never got the idea that his transformation was due to overt racism (Reagan’s switching parties seems to have been due entirely to the Democratic party’s embrace of the blacks). His religious epics ranged from the impressively lame The Ten Commandments to the truly great Ben-Hur.

After Ben-Hur, my favorite Heston movie was definitely The Planet of the Apes. Heston’s character, Taylor, spends the entire movie fighting the oppressive system where science is kept under the heel of religious dogma. That may seem ironic, as Heston was one of the most vocal supporters of such a mindset in American politics. But if you look further, the end of the movie washes away that personal irony with a plot irony. Ultimately, the dogmatic policies of the Keeper of the Faith, Dr. Zaius, proved sound.

Dr. Zaius, Keeper of the Faith

His final advice to the fleeing Taylor was “Don’t look for it, Taylor. You may not like what you find.” proved true. But there is still a nice little sliver of personal irony, in that a reading from the Sacred Scrolls on which the philosophy of Dt. Zaius is based seems to target some of Heston’s future pet topics:

Beware the beast Man, for he is the Devil’s pawn. Alone among God’s primates, he kills for sport or lust or greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother’s land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him; drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of death.

Or, more succintly, “Beware the beast Man, he is a Republican.”

Aside: as Taylor was about to enter the barren wasteland know to the apes as The Forbidden Zone and Dr. Zaius warned, “Don’t look for it, Taylor. You may not like what you find.” My son responded, “New Mexico?”

Still, I did appreciate the moral courage required of Mr. Heston in his acceptance of an impromptu interview with Michael Moore posed at his residence for the film Bowling for Columbine. While I disagreed with his positions, I thought it took some character to oblige Mr. Moore, despite the invasion of his privacy. As well, he presented a much better image for the NRA than the oily little weasel Wayne LaPierre.

Few gun nuts have ever had consensual sex

Anyhoo, I haven’t bothered to look, but I bet if I did, I’d find thousands of webpages making some joke or reference to Heston’s “cold, dead hands” quote. I won’t. I bet he was a decent guy. Deluded and wrong about most things political, sure, but a decent guy nevertheless.

I think the events of the last two weeks have made me think more and more on the degree to which only the most diseased of minds should find themselves capable of arguing for increased availability of assault weapons. But these minds exist, and are possessed of loud voices.

The last week’s conversations have been dominated by the Connecticut child massacre. What have I learned from all this? First, I have learned that an unfortunately large percentage of Republicans present the buffoonish right-wing crank reply one would expect to see in a caricature like this unfortunately accurate Tom Tomorrow cartoon:

from This Modern World by Tom Tomorrow

That is to say that I know people who have literally never discussed any firearms-related topics with me, who found occasion this week to argue the immediate necessity for assault weapons for home defense. It was slightly shocking and not-so-slightly disturbing. I find it disheartening that these people are so easily led to introducing right-wing talking points into conversations without the slightest hint of pertinence to the original topic. The worst part is that any profession of skepticism of the stated right-wing talking points will result in accusations of being a shill for that “black black blackity black secret Muslim Kenyan negro communist – I mean for God’s sake look at him, can’t you see he’s a neeegro?!?!!” Experience holds that the appropriate response is a mention of someone’s child’s recent sporting match. It was once weather, but any mention of the unusual warmth immediately leads to “God damned liberal Global Warming conspiracy to … -incoherent- … jackbooted United Nations thugs … -incoherent- … take away our … -incoherent- … cold, dead hands. Wolverines!!!!!”

I had to do a biennial physical today. The nurse said that I was due for [something I don’t remember]. My quizzical look was answered with, “It includes, among other things, pertussis. That’s whooping cough.” It took me a moment to recall that I had not yet had a pertussis booster, which I only learned about via a number of skeptical podcasts. Well, I took one for the team. The day after I heard of another preventable infant death in Australia from that terrible disease, I am no longer a part of the problem. I was very pleased when the nurse started rattling on about the dangers of voluntary immunization, given the amount of misinformation available. He was quite vocal in addressing the necessity of a solid foundation of vaccination to help reduce the general susceptibility to this and other easily preventable diseases.

So as of today, for all my other faults, I am not longer passively contributing the the virulent diseases of the 1950s as they attempt a resurgence aided by Jenny McCarthy, Andrew Wakefield, Meryl Dorey, and numerous other uneducated, fraudulent, or profit-motivated purveyors of anti-vaccination quackery.