Desertscope

Musings from Southern New Mexico

Category: crackpots (Page 3 of 4)

Beck’s Rubes

February 3, 2013 /

You may remember this bit from a few years back:

This was shocking to approximately no one. Then there was the uncomfortable silence as we all stood by watching Beck separate old fools from their money, whilst filling the coffers of his shady partner in not-quite-but-should-be crime. I mentioned a while back the Dollywood for Gun Nuts that was proposed by too-nuts-for-TV-crackpot-Jesus Glenn Beck.

While his audience of terrible people, ignorant people, and white supremacists/Christian nationalists (obviously, these groups are not mutually exclusive) were duped into driving the price of gold from less than $900 an ounce to over $1900 an ounce, they became equally invested in accepting his claimed worldview. In the same way that parishioner victims of a fraud-perpetrating clergyman (but I repeat myself) often defend him to the end, Beck’s rubes are unable to accept the obvious. In the same way that some women can’t ever be convinced that the sole reason right wing loons (RWLs) so assiduously strive to illegalize abortion is that forced childbirth is the single most important weapon in keeping women in their place, the Beck flock actively ignores every red flag.

… but I digress …

I’m not an advocate for advancing children ahead of their age-peers. One reason is that life is difficult for a child a full year behind his classmates in social maturity. Having become jaded by classmates taking advantage of my obvious naïveté, I turned a bit cynical as to the intentions of anyone trying to convince me to do anything. Over the years, this has proven advantageous in the presence of charlatans. Beck’s rubes don’t have that going for them. What I find odd is that they are willing to accept his buffoonish con at face value, while accepting his over-the-top stupid conspiracy theories even when they contradict other Beck-proffered conspiracy theories. I feel sad for the Beck rubes. They don’t even get that, as much as any Obamaphilic liberal on the planet, Beck himself is laughing at them.

Ted Nugent, “Warrior”

January 28, 2013 /

If he isn’t already, Ted Nugent should be the poster child for all things right-wing-loon.

Assuming you don’t want to hear the obnoxious affectation of his vocal inflection that sounds far more like a speech impediment than how he probably thinks it sounds, here is the gist:

Barack Obama is

“… attempting to reimplement [sic] the tyranny of King George that we escaped from [sic] in 1776. And if you want another Concord Bridge, I got some buddies …”

He was available for service during a time when few volunteers were turned away. Somehow, despite him having claimed no infirmity or malady precluding service, he never did serve. To be fair, he had been declared unfit for service. How? According to a High Times interview, Mr. Nugent spent the days prior to his draft physical eschewing personal hygiene, to include defecating in his pants*.

But what I really don’t get is how an obvious dimwit with serious personal issues (which, oddly enough for his chosen profession, have nothing to do with controlled substances) has come to be accepted by seemingly sane people as an appropriate icon for their brand of politics.

A thing about tyranny is that is lends itself well to simple tests. Mr. Nugent is trying one of my favorites. If you suspect you are living under a tyrannical rule, you can verify it thus:

  1. Publicly accuse the suspected tyrant of being a tyrant.
  2. If you wake up unmolested in your own bed, your hypothesis failed.

*I was unable to verify anything, as all my research pointed to the same few sources. Snopes considered the story unverified. Since I am not a professional journalist, however, I will allow a vaguely sources story.

h/t Little Green Footballs

The Citadel

January 14, 2013 /

I’m not thinking of the South Carolina school that, as I found while seeking a military college with which to crush my soul, had rather recently begun admitting the lesser races. Admitting, I should say, as in “allowing in,” rather than “acknowledging the existence of.” The latter had probably occurred some time earlier. Perhaps years, even. Also, there are apparently now vagino-Americans in residence (or whatever the lesser gender is now called).

No, this Citadel is a planned right-wing loon (RWL) escape from society and into the freedom afforded by certain people knowing their place. In this case, the certain people know that their place is outside. Outside the cold grey walls of the cold grey crackpot Disneyland inhabited by cold grey rubes.

In other news, crackpot Jesus Glenn Beck is planning his own kook farm. I assume he will call it Rube Ridge Ruby Ridge, in honor of a fellow white separatist gun nut patriot. And David Koresh. And other such heroes whose women knew their place. Doubtless, his victims investors will have plenty of funds available, having made so much money on gold.

All I can say is, good luck.

And shine on…

h/t Balloon Juice

Global Warming Disproven

January 4, 2013 /

Yesterday and today were “snow days,” as referred to in to common vernacular. I was excused from work due to extreme weather conditions. In Minnesota, such conditions are known as “April.” But for those with an IQ near room temperature, this is solid proof that Global Warming was made up by the secret Muslim Kenyan Negro who is in cahoot with the entirety of the non-quack scientific community and fatty-fat-fat-fat Al Gore to make up Global Warming to take away our guns and force our children to gay marry the lesser races in secular ceremonies so the U.N. can sell us into foreign buttsex slavery.

For the mentally defective, you see, a 2°C rise in the frigid winter temperatures means that the denizens of Buffalo should be walking about in t-shirts in January. It is difficult for some to see that, perhaps, Butte, Montana in January plus 2°C equals still goddamned cold. You see, a couple of degrees of temperature makes practically no difference to humans. To the general population, however, spring starting a few weeks early may be disastrous. But I get that not everyone is involved in the science of climatology. Hell, I’m not. I am involved in optics, though. In order to calculate attenuation of laser radiation through the atmosphere, I use some fairly complicated equations. Among the variables I use is the atmospheric CO2. It turns out that carbon dioxide has such a pronounced effect that it must be included even though it is barely above what would be considered trace amounts. This caused me to look into CO2 in the atmosphere, and the place to look is Mauna Loa. When you do this sort of research, this is what you find:

Carbon dioxide readings from Mauna Loa

Carbon dioxide readings from Mauna Loa

If you follow it back as far as it goes, this is what you see:

Following the same trend back to the days of muscle cars

Following the same trend back to the days of muscle cars

Because the easily influenced by obviously false arguments are, well, easily influenced, we can expect nothing to be done. No real scientist disputes the facts. Global warming is taking place and is largely anthropomorphic. The only dispute is as to how great a disaster it will produce.

Responding to Gun Nuttery on Facebook

December 24, 2012 /

I was recently having an online discussion (I have no idea what you really call commenting on facebook) with some old Army buddies. One stated that, while she supported the 2nd Amendment, something should be done to limit access to assault weapons. Another responded that a person does not support the 2nd Amendment if he advocates ANY curtailment of ANY access to ANY weaponry.

Having recently returned from an ungulate-killing expedition involving high-power rifles, I though on this for a moment. I made what I consider to be a rather uncontroversial claim:

The only employment of an assault weapon that can’t be accomplished much better by a standard high-power rifle is the indiscriminate murder of a large number of people in a short period of time.

I then updated my status with a holiday greeting:

Let us not forget that this is the time to commemorate the birth of our Lord, the Creator, 370 years ago tomorrow. Creator of calculus, that is. Merry Newtonmas!

Yet, surprisingly, I have not been unfriended by anyone thus far. The day is young.

but I digress…

What I find odd is that, though each massacre is different, the talking points trotted out by defenders of easy access to assault weapons never change. Even as the execrable NRA mouthpiece Wayne LaPierre was recycling his standard stump speech, several people, including police officers were shot. Wayne LaPierre’s call for “good guys with guns” failed the simultaneous reality test. But it really doesn’t matter. Right wing loons enjoy a particularly strong resilience to the influence of reality.

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