Yesterday and today were “snow days,” as referred to in to common vernacular. I was excused from work due to extreme weather conditions. In Minnesota, such conditions are known as “April.” But for those with an IQ near room temperature, this is solid proof that Global Warming was made up by the secret Muslim Kenyan Negro who is in cahoot with the entirety of the non-quack scientific community and fatty-fat-fat-fat Al Gore to make up Global Warming to take away our guns and force our children to gay marry the lesser races in secular ceremonies so the U.N. can sell us into foreign buttsex slavery.

For the mentally defective, you see, a 2°C rise in the frigid winter temperatures means that the denizens of Buffalo should be walking about in t-shirts in January. It is difficult for some to see that, perhaps, Butte, Montana in January plus 2°C equals still goddamned cold. You see, a couple of degrees of temperature makes practically no difference to humans. To the general population, however, spring starting a few weeks early may be disastrous. But I get that not everyone is involved in the science of climatology. Hell, I’m not. I am involved in optics, though. In order to calculate attenuation of laser radiation through the atmosphere, I use some fairly complicated equations. Among the variables I use is the atmospheric CO2. It turns out that carbon dioxide has such a pronounced effect that it must be included even though it is barely above what would be considered trace amounts. This caused me to look into CO2 in the atmosphere, and the place to look is Mauna Loa. When you do this sort of research, this is what you find:

Carbon dioxide readings from Mauna Loa

Carbon dioxide readings from Mauna Loa

If you follow it back as far as it goes, this is what you see:

Following the same trend back to the days of muscle cars

Following the same trend back to the days of muscle cars

Because the easily influenced by obviously false arguments are, well, easily influenced, we can expect nothing to be done. No real scientist disputes the facts. Global warming is taking place and is largely anthropomorphic. The only dispute is as to how great a disaster it will produce.